Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
