she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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