capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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