Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
