i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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