I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Damn victory sex feels great
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize