problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
