we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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