feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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