It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
