mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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