You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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