Sacagawea was the original milf.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
