Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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