I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
