There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
