Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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