So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't deserve a penis
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
