Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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