After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
