ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
