If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize