Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
