In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
