he looks like a really good dad on facebook
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
