just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
