lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
