Say something about gay babies.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found puke in my bra..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
