This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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