hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
