Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize