y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
