You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
