wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
