return my video game
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
