I wannas sexs uuuuu
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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