Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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