I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
pray to the hookup gods
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
