3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
