I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize