just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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