He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She tied me up with her honor cords...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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