if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize