theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
