Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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