No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm at about main and main street
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
