she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's always time for handjobs
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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