Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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