dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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