I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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