he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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