But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
