I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it's like iHOP with fire
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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