He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
