(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
