My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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