Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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