Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
