I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
