I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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