Im at strip club and am horny
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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